Politics
EXCLUSIVE: Mamdani signs executive order declaring all New Yorkers will receive a voucher for a FREE 3.5 of Lemon Cherry Gelato once a week
NYC socialist supreme hooks the five boroughs on free LCG—gas welfare or gateway to spray?
Mamdani, the Don of Dispensaries, inks EO: every New Yorker gets weekly 3.5 of Lemon Cherry Gelato, on the city. 'Equity in exotics,' he beams.
Tents trembling—free gas floods streets, margins melting. Custies cheering, but is it real cut or spray special?
Bronx plugs pivot to premium; Washington Square now voucher central.
Weed bros LinkedIn-lining for consultant gigs. Family whispers: socialism's just legalized distro.
"Free LCG? Dat's how ya turn voters into vapers," quipped Connie Cookie.
Kicker: Hellcat financed? Nah—vouchers pay the APR.
Inspired by a real story: Mamdani signs executive order declaring free Lemon Cherry Gelato voucher
