The BudfatherThe Family's Paper of Record — satirical cannabis news.https://budfathernews.com/en-usBREAKING: Pentagon officials say thousands in Army's elite 82nd Airborne have tested positive for marijuanahttps://budfathernews.com/articles/pentagon-82nd-airborne-marijuanahttps://budfathernews.com/articles/pentagon-82nd-airborne-marijuanaParatroopers dropping hot for that Sour Diesel drop, says brass. Brass now scrambling for their own plug.Thu, 14 May 2026 08:39:59 GMTBreakingDon KushoneCostco enters the middleman trim plug business to keep up with distillate cart demandhttps://budfathernews.com/articles/costco-trim-plug-distillatehttps://budfathernews.com/articles/costco-trim-plug-distillateBulk mids for the masses: Costco's latest bulk buy is suspect trim, straight to your STIIIZY pods.Wed, 13 May 2026 08:39:59 GMTIndustryPaulie PurpCannabis kingpin awwested: nearly $1.5B in spwayed lemon chewwy gelato seizedhttps://budfathernews.com/articles/cannabis-kingpin-awwested-lcghttps://budfathernews.com/articles/cannabis-kingpin-awwested-lcgFeds bust the Spray Pack Don, but real gas heads know LCG ain't ruined by dessert spray.Tue, 12 May 2026 08:39:59 GMTCrime BeatLuca RollaElderly man claims new fruity weed is primarily responsible for turning users fake and gayhttps://budfathernews.com/articles/elderly-man-fruity-weed-fake-gayhttps://budfathernews.com/articles/elderly-man-fruity-weed-fake-gayOG grandpa blames terp sprays for today's soft custies, demands return to Skunk #1 purity.Mon, 11 May 2026 08:39:59 GMTCultureConnie CookieEXCLUSIVE: Feds crack down on 'Spray Pack Mafia' accused of pushing dessert terps onto the youthhttps://budfathernews.com/articles/feds-spray-pack-mafiahttps://budfathernews.com/articles/feds-spray-pack-mafiaFeds raid the candy cart crew, saving kids from terp tyranny one holographic pack at a time.Sun, 10 May 2026 08:39:59 GMTCrime BeatThe ConsigliereNew 'STIIIZY Hack' allows customers to spend $94 and still feel hungry afterwardhttps://budfathernews.com/articles/stiiizy-hack-hungryhttps://budfathernews.com/articles/stiiizy-hack-hungryLife hack for the ages: drop a Benjamin on pods, munch like it's free. STIIIZY genius or greatest scam?Sat, 09 May 2026 08:39:59 GMTWeed NerdPaulie PurpMan avoids Hall of Flowers, reports increased testosterone, higher IQ, and zero conversations about 'branding'https://budfathernews.com/articles/man-avoids-hall-flowers-testosteronehttps://budfathernews.com/articles/man-avoids-hall-flowers-testosteroneOne custo skips the expo circus, levels up life—no spray talks, just straight gas gains.Fri, 08 May 2026 08:39:59 GMTIndustryDon Kushone91-year-old dab expert says BHO still superior to most hash rosin, calls Rosin Bois 'soft'https://budfathernews.com/articles/91-dab-expert-bho-rosinhttps://budfathernews.com/articles/91-dab-expert-bho-rosinOG dabslinger schools the rosin revolution—BHO's the boss, press boys are pillow princes.Thu, 07 May 2026 08:39:59 GMTStrain TalkLuca RollaEXCLUSIVE: Mamdani signs executive order declaring all New Yorkers will receive a voucher for a FREE 3.5 of Lemon Cherry Gelato once a weekhttps://budfathernews.com/articles/mamdani-lcg-voucherhttps://budfathernews.com/articles/mamdani-lcg-voucherNYC socialist supreme hooks the five boroughs on free LCG—gas welfare or gateway to spray?Wed, 06 May 2026 08:39:59 GMTPoliticsConnie CookieMan says he only entered cannabis industry to help people and finance a Hellcat at 28% APRhttps://budfathernews.com/articles/man-cannabis-hellcathttps://budfathernews.com/articles/man-cannabis-hellcatNoble trapper tale: heal the sick, flex the whip—cannabis savior or slick salesman?Tue, 05 May 2026 08:39:59 GMTIndustryThe ConsigliereNYC bans spray terp vendors from Washington Square Park ahead of 4/20https://budfathernews.com/articles/nyc-bans-spray-terp-wsphttps://budfathernews.com/articles/nyc-bans-spray-terp-wspArch clears out the candy cart clowns—WSP back to real gas, no fruity fakes.Mon, 04 May 2026 08:39:59 GMTPoliticsPaulie PurpNASA astronauts risk lives in space, return with 'mid-grade moonrocks'https://budfathernews.com/articles/nasa-mid-grade-moonrockshttps://budfathernews.com/articles/nasa-mid-grade-moonrocksZero-G zips yield lunar lows—no cosmic chem, just space mids.Sun, 03 May 2026 08:39:59 GMTCultureDon KushoneBREAKING: Local carpenter claims his father created Sour Diesel, insists only he has the 'real cut'https://budfathernews.com/articles/carpenter-sour-dieselhttps://budfathernews.com/articles/carpenter-sour-dieselHammerhead heir drops lineage bomb—Sour Diesel daddy's true seed in a toolbox.Sat, 02 May 2026 08:39:59 GMTBreakingLuca RollaBREAKING: Bronx weed tents reportedly operating with better margins than licensed dispensarieshttps://budfathernews.com/articles/bronx-weed-tents-marginshttps://budfathernews.com/articles/bronx-weed-tents-marginsStreet tents trumping suits—Bronx black market blooming while MSOs wither.Fri, 01 May 2026 08:39:59 GMTBreakingConnie CookieBREAKING: DHS instructs TSA agents to begin allowing travelers with bullshit weed to just go about their dayhttps://budfathernews.com/articles/dhs-tsa-bullshit-weedhttps://budfathernews.com/articles/dhs-tsa-bullshit-weedFeds fold: bullshit buds bypass bins—fly high with fakes, no fuss.Thu, 30 Apr 2026 08:39:59 GMTBreakingThe ConsigliereThe Plant Didn't Change in 2025… The People Around It Didhttps://budfathernews.com/articles/plant-didnt-change-2025https://budfathernews.com/articles/plant-didnt-change-2025Gas eternal, custies corrupted—2025's the year weed stayed pure, humans went phony.Wed, 29 Apr 2026 08:39:59 GMTCulturePaulie PurpWatching weed bros go from lovable outlaws to state-sanctioned ass kissershttps://budfathernews.com/articles/weed-bros-outlaws-asskissershttps://budfathernews.com/articles/weed-bros-outlaws-asskissersFrom tent titans to regulator rimjobs—cannabis crew's cringe evolution.Tue, 28 Apr 2026 08:39:59 GMTCultureDon KushoneResearchers found that cannabis may make you remember things that never happenedhttps://budfathernews.com/articles/cannabis-false-memorieshttps://budfathernews.com/articles/cannabis-false-memoriesLab coats confirm: toke up, timeline twists—your 'real cut' Sour Diesel? Total trip.Mon, 27 Apr 2026 08:39:59 GMTWeed NerdLuca Rolla